While Sun’s getting me more rice wine, lemme tell you a story from a long, long time ago. You’ll like it, it has animals, and a happy ending.
Long time ago, all the animals were always fighting. So they got together and decided, we should have a king to tell us what to do. But they couldn’t agree who would be king, and they all fought about it for years and years.
After a while, they came down to just having five kings, and all the animals picked one or another to follow. There was Tu the Ox, Jin the Tiger, Shui the Snake, Mu the Monkey, and Huo the Cock. So now they had five kings, and they still fought all the time. Each of the kings made a sword to help them fight, and they made a throne so everyone knew they were the king, and of course, that didn’t help anything.
It made so much noise that the King of Heaven sent down a Dragon to see what the heck was going on. The Dragon came down and saw all the fighting and said, ‘You idiots! None of you are good at being king, but you’re all bad kings in different ways. Maybe we can figure something out. Tu the Ox, you’re always hungry, eat eat eat, and you only care about Oxes. Jin the Tiger, you’re cruel and strict. Shui the Snake, nobody likes you and you’re scary. Mu the Monkey, everything’s a competition with you all the time. And Huo the Cock, you’re always preening. What a cock!’
So then the animals got together with the Dragon and talked things out. They decided that it was probably best for each of them to be king just for a while, and then the next would be king. That way, nobody screwed things up too bad. Turns out, this worked pretty good. There was change, there was regularity. There was order, there was movement. Nobody ruined things too much at one time.